


A Spinda Ambassador

by Biscuit Lion (cookiethelion)



Series: 8 Out Of 10 Cats x Pokemon [2]
Category: 8 Out of 10 Cats RPF, British Comedy RPF, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon Fusion, Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 17:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1865961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiethelion/pseuds/Biscuit%20Lion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hadn’t occurred to Josh that, in the space of two months from agreeing to appear on 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown to the night of the recording, pictures of him and Jon walking hand-in-hand would appear first in tabloids, then all over the internet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter two contains the letters and numbers boards mentioned in this fic.

It hadn’t occurred to Josh that, in the space of two months from agreeing to appear on 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown to the night of the recording, pictures of him and Jon walking hand-in-hand would appear first in tabloids, then all over the internet. By the time they were recording, the audience were in a rather giggly mood; Jimmy seemed to be fixated on making as many jokes about their relationship as he could; and instead of having a mascot, Sean gifted them a pair of tuxedo wearing Plusle and Minum dolls.

As far as Josh could tell, at least the first letters board (P E I H D R N A B) didn’t contain any words that could be used to poke fun at him or Jon. So far, the longest he found was BEHIND, but when he tried to search for a seven, all he could focus on was Jimmy first opening three cases on his desk, then, a few seconds later, rubbing a Fire Stone on his neck. When the audience laughed, Josh looked across and grinned at the suit-wearing Flareon in Jimmy’s seat.

“Josh, let’s hear your six,” said Jimmy, after he had returned to the panel, and Henning and Sean had given their five and six letter words, respectively.

“I’ve got–” Josh meant to turn his chair towards Jimmy, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jon’s Pokéballs, and a feeling there was something off about them. He kept his head down, and tried to fathom what was bugging him. “I got BEHIND.”

He looked up, startled, when he heard the audience laugh, and realised, much too late, how the situation must have looked. Jon was staring straight ahead, and Josh, feeling just as embarrassed, spun his seat round to face Jimmy, who was looking at him with his eyebrows raised. As he did so, he almost swept his mascot off the desk, a Cleffa doll Jon gave him two months ago.

“I wasn’t looking at – I saw Jon’s Pokéballs–” said Josh.

“Sure, and his Pokécock,” said Jimmy.

Josh rolled his eyes, and, hoping that he wasn’t blushing, decided to keep quiet on his hunch for now. Throughout the first number round (“The little numbers are 4, 1, 5, 7,” said Rachel. “And the two big ones 50 and 100 … and your target is … 593.”) he ended up eyeing Jon’s Pokéballs while pretending to scribble on his paper. When they took a break so the crew could change the board for the second letters round, Josh felt Jon grab his hand underneath the desk.

“What were you saying about my Pokéballs?” said Jon.

“There’s something different about them,” said Josh. “I don’t think they’re all yours.”

Jon let go of him so he could lift his shirt up to inspect his Pokéballs. The only time Josh could recall Jon taking his belt off was for the compulsory Pokémon health and safety checks, but he’d clearly grabbed the right belt afterwards. All six were ordinary Pokéballs as well, and each had the same shiny finish.

“What do you think’s wrong?” said Jon. He unclipped the first Pokéball, and turned it over in his hands.

Josh shrugged. It was one of those situations where he’d seen the Pokéballs enough times to tell if something was wrong, but couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Besides, it seemed like an over-reaction, but it distracted him enough in the next letters round to lose to Sean’s FLYGON, although to his relief, Jon triumphed over Henning in the numbers round, and furthered their lead by ten points.

“He doesn’t work here anymore, but he keeps on showing up,” said Jimmy to the camera, after another break to change the board again. “Please welcome Joe Wilkinson.”

Joe had his back to the panel when he walked on, but it was obvious he was dressed in a Spinda costume with a spot on each ear; the remaining spots covered the eyes above the hole cut out for Joe to stick his head through. Josh glanced at the belt Joe had loosely buckled over his outfit, and at the six ordinary Pokéballs attached.

“Why are you dressed like that, Joe?” said Jimmy.

“Well, you know I was fired at the end of the last series–” said Joe. He slapped his hand on his forearm. “It’s left me with a lot of time, so I went job hunting, and I am now a Spinda Ambassador.”

“A Spinda Ambassador?”

“Yeah, it’s a serious problem. People are hunting Spindas because of their unique patterns, so I’m now an ambassador to, you know, promote more information about them. I know it’s embarrassing I’m here on a different job. I told them about Rachel’s drinking problems, but apparently that made me the perfect candidate. Anyway, Spindas are really friendly creatures, Jimmy, I’m sure you’d want to meet one–”

Joe reached for the first Pokéball on his belt, and Josh and Jon jumped back in alarm. Even Sean seemed to tense up, and Jimmy lowered one of his arms over his waist, hands opened and prepared to grab his own Pokémon if needed. It had, after all, only been three months since the 8 out of 10 Cats fiasco.

“The last time you had a Spinda out, you almost hospitalised a panellist,” said Jimmy, frowning.

“I’ve fixed the loophole by bringing six different Spindas with me. Come on out Spinda,” said Joe as he raised his arm and pushed the button. The white half rested on his palm, and the red half swung open to release a female Pyroar.

Joe’s eyes widened and he tilted his head at the panel; everyone was laughing, but Josh frowned and glanced at Jon’s waist. So that was the problem; Jon was carrying at least one Spinda on him. He squinted, now paying extra attention to work out which one it was.

“Joe, that’s a Pyroar,” said Jimmy.

Josh didn’t look up, but judging by the short silence that followed, Joe seemed to be lost for words. Pyroar purred.

“I meant that,” said Joe. “What I’ve done, right, is that I have, er, replaced some of our panellist’s Pokéballs with my Spindas. Jon, you–” As he spoke, Josh had already reached over and unhooked one Pokéball. “Or, you know, get your boyfriend to do it.”

Josh pushed the button and a Spinda with three spots on its left ear, and one over its nose, popped out onto the desk in front of them. He raised both hands to chin-height and shrunk back; next to him, Jon shuffled towards him in his seat. Spinda just blinked, then picked up one of their pens and threw it into Jon’s lap. From the other side of the studio, Pyroar, who had wandered over to Dictionary Corner, roared and leapt over the desk. She landed with all four feet apart, and snarled at Spinda.

Josh pushed his chair back, worried that Spinda was going to attack Pyroar; instead, it squeaked and dived under the desk. Jon looked over at him, and tilted his head at Pyroar first before he slid off his seat, and began to coax the Spinda out of its hiding place.

Josh jogged round the panel and slowed down into calm strides as he approached Pyroar. She looked at him, still baring her teeth and growling. Undeterred that this was the third time he’d seen her since her evolution two days ago, he held out both hands the nearer he got to her, making sure to keep up eye contact. He didn’t have to walk too close before she decided to pounce on him. As a Litleo, he had been able to catch her in his arms; now, all she did was place her front paws on his shoulders, but she was so much heavier that he was only able to hold her up for several seconds before he collapsed backwards. He felt his microphone pack hit the ground first with a bang and, along with several of his Pokéballs, detach from his belt.

Pyroar shifted her body weight on top of him, and he heard gasps and shrieks. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sean and Henning standing up and unclipping Pokéballs. For a moment, all he could feel were her hot breaths expelling through her nostrils. Sweat trickled down his forehead, and his eyes watered. Then her long, thin tongue licked the left side of his face, from his neck up to his earlobes, and he burst out giggling.

“It’s – _stop it_ – fine–” he managed to gasp in between laughs, as Pyroar continued to lick his face and ears. He shut his eyes tight as her tongue passed over his eyelids, and she started on cleaning his forehead. Freeing one of his arms, he stuck it out upright and clicked his fingers. “Joe – Pokéball–”

He kept his arm out until he felt the plastic on his palm, and cupped his fingers around the whole ball. His fingertips ran over the button, but Pyroar chose to lick him on the underside of his earlobe, causing him to wriggle and his fingers to slip from the top of the Pokéball.

“Jon?” Josh turned his head to the left, and Pyroar nuzzled her snout against his neck. “Have you got Spinda?”

“Got it,” he heard Jon say somewhere behind him.

This time, Josh pushed down the moment he found the button, and gasped as he felt his first breath of cool, fresh air. He remained lying down for a few more seconds, just breathing deeply, before putting down Pyroar’s Pokéball on the ground next to him. He sat up, and heard the floor manager yell at him to stay sitting.

“Josh?” said Jon. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he said. “I’m not injured. I’m just really hot right now.”

A crew member ran on to re-attach his microphone pack to his belt, followed by another to neaten his hair with a comb. As he waited for them to finish, he patted the right side of his belt and felt four Pokéballs. He glanced around for his remaining two, and, when he was allowed to move again, found them tucked in the moat formed by the front of the panel and the edge of the circular platform.

“Jon, was that Pyroar your Litleo?” said Sean.

“Yes it was, mate,” said Jon. Josh had, by now, handed him back the Pokéball, and he took Spinda’s to give back to Joe.

“When did she evolve?”

“A couple of days ago.”

“You could have told us before the recording.”

“Obviously I would have told you earlier if I knew she was going to make a surprise guest appearance.”

“You mean you didn’t plan this with Joe?” said Jimmy.

“Sorry about that, mate,” said Joe. He was looking at Jon, but held out his hand anyway to take his Pokéball off Josh.

“If you didn’t plan this,” said Sean. “How come he had your Pyroar, and you got his Spinda?”

“I have no idea,” said Jon. “But I think this is what Josh was trying to tell me.”

“I meant it when I said I was looking at Jon’s Pokéballs,” said Josh, grinning.

“Joe, I’m being told you need to open your other Pokéballs,” said Jimmy, with his finger pressed on his earpiece. “Josh, you need to return to your seat.”

As Josh walked back across the set, he looked over his shoulder when he heard five pops in a row to see four Spindas surrounding Joe, and the fifth walking over to Rachel; and when he sat down again, and each Spinda had been returned to their Pokéballs, it was decided a re-take was necessary. Joe walked off the set, but not before he gave Jon one last apologetic look.

Josh felt the edge of Jon’s chair bump his own, and he turned to face him. He started when Jon reached for his stomach, until he noticed that the middle buttons on his blouse had come undone; and even though he had time to insist on doing up his own buttons, he hands remained clasped together in his lap. For a moment, the loudest noise he could hear was Jon breathing over the ruffling of his blouse, and the tiny drafts of air with each button Jon did up; and when Josh reached for the Cleffa doll, he saw everyone else on the panel tiptoeing away.


	2. Chapter 2

**First letters game:**  
P E I H D R N A B

**First numbers game:**  
Target: 593  
100 | 50 | 4 | 1 | 5 | 7

**Second letters game:**  
G A D F O L A N Y

**Second numbers game:**  
Target: 925  
50 | 5 | 6 | 5 | 3 | 8


End file.
